Childishness and All-Too-Willing Parentishness

I remember, from my college study of psychology, transactional analysis from Eric Berne.  His theory mirrors Freud with his id, ego and super-ego.  Berne uses the terms 'child', 'adult' and 'parent' to describe people's interactions with each other.  The 'child' is immature, weak, self-centered, the ultimate victim.  The 'adult' is reason-based and mature. The 'parent' is judgmental, condescending, has a knee-jerk answer to every problem and is always full of unsolicited advice.  The 'child' and 'parent' are emotion driven while the 'adult' is thoughtful and deliberate.

In America today, we find ourselves surrounded by (grown-up) 'children' (think: occupy wall st) with a government ever ready to step in and be everyone's 'parent.'  Many outside of government also react to problems as a 'parent' with the underlying assumption that, "Well, I know I can do it, but other people can't seem to do it, so they need help."  And they vote with that mindset.  So the government has become the means by which the 'parents' in society help the 'children.'  But, just as it's wrong for real parents to force kids to do right, it's wrong for voters, acting from the perspective of Berne's 'parent' are wrong to force the rest of us to do right; right being defined here as helping those in need.  As a side note, the 'parent' treats everyone like a child regardless of his perspective.

It's easily understood from the perspective of Berne's rational 'adult' that it's wrong to forcibly take from some to give to others.  And that's why those who willfully take us in the direction of socialism do so from the all-knowing, enabling perspective of Berne's 'parent.'

One shining example of this phenomenon is society's ('parent's') treatment of any and all "at-risk minorities."  Minorities are labeled as victims and unfortunately, for them, they embrace victimhood and allow things to be done for them which they could do for themselves.  It's easy to see the childishness in their behavior.  It's also easy to relate.  We all allow others to do things for us we could do ourselves.  But certainly the government shouldn't encourage this behavior by compelling us to be each others' 'parent.'

Another example of 'parenting' with disastrous consequences is the state of our public schools.  Over the past 150 years we've gone from educating kids using the Bible, classical literature, the constitution, history, geography and the hard sciences to institutional schooling where attendance is mandatory, the Bible is banned, the constitution is unknown, hard science often has been replaced by social science and history is now called social studies.  The kids are conditioned to depend on an all-knowing 'parent' (the teacher,) the nuclear family is de-emphasized and political-correctness reigns supreme.  But don't worry, it's "free."  Although, to have accepted the status quo, we 'adults' have had to come to see things from the 'child's' perspective. That is, we've abdicated our responsibility to educate our kids.  For an insiders perspective on the last 150 years of the history of schooling, see John Taylor Gatto's "Dumbing Us Down' and "The Underground History of American Education."  Mr. Gatto taught Jr. High for 30 years.



Each of us must find himself in the role of the 'adult'.  And from there we must act.  Over the past 100 years, we've sunk evermore into Berne's other two perspectives and doing so, we've lost freedom.  Only the 'adult' merits freedom and indeed, only the 'adult' can cope with freedom's eternal companion, responsibility.  The real trick is to trust that others, if we allow them to do so, CAN cope with the freedom and responsibility we crave and which we know is man's birthright.  Please, my friends, let's do what it takes to preserve that freedom.